The Power of Choice

If there's one thing spirit has reinforced through hundreds of readings over the years, it's this: we have far more choice than we think we do.

Now, before you dismiss that because life has thrown you something utterly unfair, hear me out.

I'm not suggesting we get to choose everything that happens to us because we don't. We don't choose redundancy. We don't choose someone we love walking away. We don't choose illness, bereavement, betrayal or those moments that arrive completely uninvited and change the course of our lives in an instant.

Life will always contain things that are outside of our control.

Where I think we sometimes get ourselves into trouble is that we confuse not having control over an event with not having any power at all. They aren't the same thing, although they can certainly feel like it when we're in the thick of something painful.

One of the things I notice over and over again in readings is how easy it is for people to unknowingly hand over their power.

We start believing that our peace depends on somebody apologising. That we'll finally feel better when our ex comes back, when the difficult boss leaves, when our family changes, when we have more money or when life becomes somehow easier.

In other words, we place our wellbeing in somebody else's hands and then wonder why we feel so powerless.

Spirit has a funny way of interrupting that narrative.

Very rarely does it focus on what everybody else should be doing. Instead, it gently brings the conversation back to the one person we actually have any influence over: ourselves.

Not because what happened doesn't matter. It absolutely does. Not because difficult emotions should be ignored. They shouldn't.

But because our lives begin to change the moment we stop asking, "Why is this happening to me?" and start asking, "Given that this is where I am, who do I want to be now?"

That question changes everything.

Sometimes the answer is obvious. We choose to leave a relationship that no longer honours us. We choose to apply for the job, have the difficult conversation or finally say no to something we've been saying yes to out of guilt for years.

More often, though, the choices that shape our lives are far quieter than that. They're found in the conversations we have with ourselves every single day.

Do I keep replaying this argument in my head for the hundredth time today, or do I consciously move my attention elsewhere?

Do I keep waiting for somebody else's behaviour to dictate whether I'm allowed to feel peaceful?

Do I continue telling myself the story that I'm stuck, or am I willing to entertain the possibility that there might be another way of looking at this?

Those aren't small choices at all. They're the ones that quietly alter the direction of our lives.

Please don't misunderstand me. This isn't about pretending everything happens for a reason or forcing yourself to find a silver lining when life feels impossibly hard.

Some experiences knock the wind out of us and there's no shortcut through grief, disappointment or heartbreak.

Sometimes choosing well simply looks like admitting you're struggling instead of pretending you're fine. Sometimes it looks like asking for help. Sometimes it looks like cancelling the plans, going to bed early or giving yourself permission not to have all the answers today.

They're choices too, even if they don't feel particularly glamorous.

I often think about it like being at sea.

We don't control the weather, the tides or whether a storm decides to appear out of nowhere. We'd all like calm waters all of the time but that's simply not how life works.

What we do control is how we respond when the weather changes.

Do we panic? Do we adapt? Do we ask for help? Do we ride it out? Do we keep our eyes fixed on the horizon rather than convincing ourselves that the storm will last forever?

That's where our power has always been.

I think this is one of the most empowering messages spirit offers because it quietly reminds us that whilst we may not always have control, we are never completely without choice.

So if you're facing something difficult at the moment, don't put pressure on yourself to solve the next year of your life this afternoon. You don't need to know exactly how everything is going to unfold.

Just ask yourself a much smaller question.

What choice is available to me today?

Not the perfect choice. Not the one with guaranteed outcomes. Just the next one.

Because our lives are rarely transformed by one huge decision. More often they're changed by a series of small, intentional choices that, over time, lead us somewhere we could never have imagined when we first began.

And perhaps that's what spirit is really trying to remind us of.

Whatever has happened before today, you still have a say in what happens next.

Take good care,
Sarah xx