Guest Speaker

Being In Love

When You Know You Are In Love

 

When you are truly in love with someone you never need to ask the question “Is this love?” or “Am I in love?”

 

You will just know it.

 

The truth of the matter is that you can be in a relationship, even a marriage, for decades and never really be in love. The pair of you get by and in a lot of cases this is good enough, if it suits both partners.

 

However, when cupid hits, it is another situation altogether. The other person is on your mind constantly and you cannot bear a lack of communication, even if it is just for a day. You swing from total elation when you’re with them, to sadness when they are not around. Some people even lose their appetites!

 

The feeling of being in love even encourages the production of certain chemicals in our body. For example, oxytocin and vasopressin – two hormones produced in a region of the brain called the hypothalamus – cause stronger feelings of attachment.

 

Many of us know that being in love with someone does not necessarily mean a “happily ever after” life. It can take a lifetime to recover when it goes wrong and still you can feel a strong connection with that person you were in love with.

 

There are few common traits that can lead love to have an unhappy conclusion:

 

Is the person you love already in a relationship with another? Love triangles are common (if you haven’t already, take a look at my blog discussing them in detail) and yes, it is possible to love more than one person, but if you are the one that is unhappy, then you might need to change your focus.

 

Sometimes it’s the people around you that can get in the way of love. Are there other people around trying to jeopardise your relationship? Family and friends, although they might think they mean well (or sometimes not) can throw spanners in the works.

 

Is the love of your life making things difficult for you? Do their moods change and swing from great to bad?  Does this person, that you are so in love with, choose not to respond to your texts or calls? Are they in love with you as much as you are with them?

 

Loving is one thing, being ‘in love’ is a different thing. And it can hurt. When the love we have shown isn’t reciprocated, the chemicals in our bodies do not shut off lightly. To have the experience of feeling totally in love only happens a few times in our lives, once, twice, three times maybe.  It is super powerful. 

  

If it hasn’t worked out for you the way you expect, hold on to the good feelings as a nice memory at least, but don’t chase the dream. There will be a reason you are not with that person any longer.

 

For any issues on love, past, present or future. Give me a call or send an email

Warm wishes x

 

Anya – PIN  600052

 

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