Guest Speaker

The Peter Pan Syndrome

According to Humbelina Robles Ortega, professor of the Department of Personality, Evaluation and Psychological Treatment of the University of Granada and an expert in emotional disorders, warns that the overprotection of parents can lead their young ones to develop the Peter Pan Syndrome. It usually affects dependent people who have been overprotected by their families and have not developed the necessary skills to deal with the real world out there.

The Peter Pans of today tend to see the adult world as very problematic and glorify adolescence, which is why they want to stay in that state of being looked after by others.

Mainly men are affected the Peter Pan Syndrome although it can affect both sexes.
Characteristics of this disorder are the inability of individuals to take on responsibilities, to commit themselves or to keep promises, excessive care about the way they look and personal well-being and their lack of self-confidence, even though they do not seem to show it and actually come across as exactly the opposite.
They tend to become anxious when they are evaluated by their work colleagues or their superiors, given they are completely intolerant towards any criticism.

These people can have serious adaptation problems at work or in personal relationships and are often constantly changing partners.

Whenever a relationship starts to heavy ask for a high level of commitment and responsibility as in engagement or marriage they get going out the door.

Whilst this mainly affects men, it can equally apply to ladies who also wish to avoid responsibility and therefore will be constantly losing jobs, money and relationships for varies reasons and note – it is never their fault but someone else.
The Peter Pans of this world tend to blame their parents, government, their schooling and often you for their problems when in fact it is their problem and they should be heading for their local therapist to make Peter Pan finally grow up.

I will be putting up a quiz to assist you all in working out for yourselves if someone in your life maybe?  Now it is time to see if you know anyone who could be a Peter Pan?

Here’s a quiz that will assist you determine how seriously your partner suffers from the Peter Pan Syndrome. You can take this quiz based on your current relationship or one from the past. Grade each statement according to how frequently that statement applies to you.

The Warning Signs of a Peter Pan

Never = 0 points, Sometimes = 1 point, Always = 2 points.

1) When he makes a mistake, her overreacts either exaggerating his guilt or searching for excuses to absolve himself of any blame.
2) He forgets important dates; i.e. anniversary, birthdays etc.
3) He finds it almost impossible to say, “I’m sorry”.
4) He expects you to have sexual intercourse when he’s ready, giving little thought to your need for foreplay.
5) He goes out of his way to help his buddies but fails to do the little things you ask him to do for you.
6) He expresses concern for you and your problems and feelings only after you’ve complained about his indifference.
7) He initiates an activity or outing only if it’s something he wants to do.
8) He seems to find it extremely difficult to express his feelings other than anger and frustration.
9) He yearns to be close to his father, but any conversation (present or past) with his dad is stilted, ceremonial and lacking in depth.
10) He doesn’t listen well to opinions that differ from his own.
11) He has uncalled-for flashes of rage during which he refuses to calm down.
12) He is intimidated by the wishes of his mother to the point that you become upset with her for being so demanding.
13) He believes he is employed in the wrong capacity, but fails to do anything about it except complain.
14) He has a problem with alcohol; when he drinks, his personality seems to change; he demonstrates a hair-trigger temper, false bravado or exaggerated gaiety.
15) He feels that he must not miss any fun or event with the boys and goes beyond rational limits in order not to be left out.
16) He expresses chauvinistic attitudes; eg. “I want my wife to work as long as the house is clean.”
17) He appears to have unexplained fears and lack self-confidence, but refuses to talk about it.
18) He accuses you of getting too emotional, while he appears to be above it all. When you get angry, he sits there like stone.

0 to 10 Not a PPS victim.
His problems tend to be isolated and are not very serious. If this is a bothersome situation, talk with him about it. Most likely it can be resolved in the spirit of love and co-operation.
11 to 25 The PPS is definitely a threat.
Follow the instructions outlined after this test and, if you are a woman, be prepared to evaluate yourself. There are steps you can take to improve the situation, but the higher the score within this category the harder you must be willing to work.
26 to 40 The Peter Pan Syndrome is fully functioning.
If the man won’t seek help for his problems you should probably talk with a professional about what you can do to cope with the situation.

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