If you can’t love yourself, how are you expecting anyone to love you?
When I first heard that I had to think about it. “Wow,” I thought. “It’s true.”
I then had to think of how I love myself and what I love myself for. I found I could more easily think of what I do not love about me, as I was constantly reminding myself of those things. Judging all the time. That little voice that says, “You didn’t do that right’ or ‘What did you do that for?” That little voice that triggers our self confidence and our lack of self-love.
One thing I learnt about self- love is that I had to do some inner work. I put pen to paper and wrote out ten things that I love about me. It can be physical features, skills, our personal attributes etc. Most of us go straight to thinking about ourselves physically and then we start on the judging again.
You are a beautiful being of light, here on earth to expand love and kindness to mankind. You are here for a reason. How are you as a friend, what are you good at? How do you shine your light into the world? Answering these questions should give you an indication about your attributes.
I am sure you can come up with ten things and even more, so keep that list going. Whenever you feel down on yourself, look at your list.
I believe that mirror work also is very powerful! Take that list and read it to yourself. “I love you, (Your Name). I love that you have a big heart. I love that you are always there for others. I love that…”
It may seem cheesy at first, but keep doing it. This is an act of self- love. Acknowledging all that is wonderful about you. Again, if you can’t do it to yourself, how are you expecting others to?
Another act of self- love arises when others pay you a compliment. Accept it and say thank you instead of saying ‘Oh, you must be mistaken,” or ‘Do you really think so?”
Being honest with yourself in terms of what you want in life is an act of self-love. We can get caught up in believing we don’t deserve good things and that sets us up for settling or taking second best. No! You deserve wonderful things in your life. It is now time for you to believe it and claim it.
Self care is also an act of self-love. I know, as a woman and mother I put myself last on the totem pole many times to care for my family. I was always tired and started to lose myself. Yes, there were responsibilities, but I needed the time to recharge and take care of me. I then decided to book time with myself a few times a week: 10 mins there, half an hour here and then it became a regular practice of ‘Me Time’. Things like making a cup of tea and just enjoying in the garden, a bubble bath, a walk or a catch up with a friend for coffee. Believing we are deserving of self- care and the ‘Me Time’ was something I had to force myself to do and eventually it became a regular thing, and importantly, I knew I deserved it.
Self- love means holding your happiness and wellbeing in high regard. Take the step today to honour and appreciate the being of light that you are.
Deryn - PIN 600483