Guest Speaker

Lonely - Experiences Of Loss

I was 27 when I followed an inherent calling to become a Soul Midwife or ' Death Doula ‘. I learned how to help souls transition home to spirit when they had reached the last steps of their journey here on the earth plane. 

With ancient healing modalities & rituals I work with the dying and their families, practising a demedicalised, gentle and spiritual approach to death. 

Soul Midwifery for me is a celebration of life. A further weaving of the tapestry of love. 

Talking, healing, and creating. Holding space, keeping vigil, helping to bring death & dying into its sacred light of ' being '.  I soon found that such soul work profoundly assists the grieving process for both my ' friend ' and those they love. An acceptance, a beautiful surrender is born and it's incredibly healing and tangible. 

I had no idea at the time that I would be baring loving witness to my own father's death just two years later, when he would pass away at the age of 53. I of course would be just 29.

My father was my soul mate, my best friend and my biggest support in life and it was in his death that I would be his anchor as he made his transition home. 

One week before he took ill I had a dream that he had died and exactly 7 days later he was rushed unexpectedly to intensive care following a cardiac arrest. My skill set & my compassion were to tread new territory as I held space emotionally, spiritually & physically for my father for the 11 days that followed until he passed away.

Unfortunately I completely understand that Christmas can be all too often a bitter sweet time for anybody who has lost someone that they loved very deeply. It is sometimes difficult to clear the lump in your throat long enough to truly enjoy the festive period. Memories often come in huge waves that almost carry us away into the silence of our thoughts. Grief can meet us at the door like an old & uninvited friend somewhat seeking shelter from the mask of consumerism and neatly wrapped gifts. I for one have met with this unexpected guest many times. I've poured it drinks and offered up mince pies with a brave welcoming smile, when really I've been devastated inside. Naturally of course there are times when you cannot disguise your broken heart and that can carry with it almost a guilt that you are letting people down. You are conflicted by a whole array of emotions, Joy and togetherness, loneliness and sadness.

This year we have faced a new bereavement and then in September just 3months later we said a very sad farewell to a much loved member of our family, our 13 year old dog Moo. 

And so the reason I write this today? Because I hope to lend my experience and comfort to those, who like me, will be missing someone this year at Christmas time. There IS hope. You see' those we love whom we cannot be with physically really are with us in spirit and in our homes with us, especially at times of celebration and this is my promise to you. It's ok to take time to hold space and miss them and to cry and let the healing waters flow but we must also remember and have faith that we can connect to them very deeply through laughter, through music, through children and memory and love. 

Ultimately we are all made up of energy, our feelings (all valid) are also energy and energy doesn't die like that of the physical body, it cannot, it merely changes vibration and form and it can survive all things. 

So this year I shall take 5 minutes to sit in the presence of my father away from it all , to tell him that I love him and to light a candle in his honour and my family will do the same for all of the loved ones we so miss ....but then we will play and sing and enjoy food together knowing that LOVE is energy and survives all things and this joy too will be in the honour of those who wish us only happiness on our own unique journeys & until our tapestry is all but weaved 

Reach out to others this Christmas with kindness and compassion, buoy someone's faith with this spiritual truth, that we are only separated momentarily, that we are made up of love and strength and the ability to heal both ourselves and those around us and no matter the dark moments we are shaped by in life ...We are still LIGHT We are still HOPE and We are still very much LOVED xxx


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