When we meet someone, we always want to meet our Soulmate or Twin Flame. Reality is that we just want to be loved …
You will love every person differently as we are all different people. We have a huge capacity to love and we do thrive when it is reciprocated, but when it isn’t then damage can be done that people can hold for the rest of their days.
So, when do you let go of a relationship? I am not a relationship counselor but it is common sense that you should consider letting go when it does not get any better!! You can only try so many times before you realise that there is only you trying.
I have compiled a list of considerations that I feel are signs that you should look at fixing before you let go.
Communication. This is key in any relationship and if this goes by the wayside, then this is a problem. Listening is also a big part of communication, but you should always be able to communicate with your partner and have a response back. Anything less is unacceptable.
Stonewalling. If you or your partner is deliberately ignoring the other, this is unacceptable behavior and needs to stop.
Detachment. To a degree this is easy to let creep in as life gets busy, but if this detachment is not changing, there is no coming together when the busy schedules ease and this is an issue. This is easily remedied, just spend more time together and remember why you are together in the first place.
No Plans. When you and your partner do not have any goals to strive for in the relationship, this leads to detachment. Every relationship needs a common goal, common ground.
Threats. It is so easy (isn’t it) to let the threat of ending the relationship spill from our lips. When this is being spoken of, remember the other party could well believe you. Please do not utter these words unless you mean them as they are destructive.
One Sided Relationship. This is where either you are making all the effort, or your partner is, and no equal effort is being made by the other. Relationships are hard work, but they are worth it with the right person.
I once read that the ending of a relationship is not a failure, it is an event, as the only failure in life is the failure to try.
Sometimes there are no reasons why you want to let go, other than you simply do not love that person anymore. Better to be straight with them and let them go so they can go on to find someone who can love them as they wish to be loved.
Staying with someone for money is the wrong reason to stay; resentment will come in and no amount of money can buy happiness. It can ease things for a while but ultimately, if the relationship is bad, money will not fix it.
Never stay with someone out of pity or because you do not wish to hurt them. I know from years of living that most of us would not want someone to stay because of pity or fear of hurt.
This post is intended to be thought evoking, I am not at the front of all knowledge, but these are my observations over the years. I hope that this article helps you to navigate the challenges of a relationship so that it becomes successful, or, on the flip side, it helps you see what has gone wrong and if you can fix it… or not. And if not, come out of that relationship knowing you tried everything you could.
And of course… YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.
Hugs
Shelly x
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