Can You Get Lost Love Back?
‘A lonely heart is waiting for her lost love to return
Sitting in silent sorrow … will she ever learn?
He had to go, he couldn’t stay, he would not tell her why,
His words she couldn’t listen to, she felt it was all a lie.
A lonely heart is waiting for her lost love to return.
Sitting in silent sorrow … will she ever learn?’
I heard this poem as a teenager at school, (it could have been written by a fellow pupil but who, I do not remember, it was so long ago) and it has always stayed with me. It hit a chord with me then, but years later it became even more poignant.
Can you get love back when it is lost?
No one ever said it would be easy and it all depends on the reasons for a break up. Some things can be forgiven, not forgotten, but forgiven in time. Certain things can not and there is no way back, especially when the relationship ends because of abuse, be it physical, mental or emotional. Anyone that says they love you but treats you that way seriously need to revisit their definition of love.
If you truly love someone you will do anything in your power to make them happy; you put their needs over yours and they should do the same for you. That balances it out, but if not balanced, it will fail.
If a relationship has had its trust broken, yes this can be got back. It won’t be exactly the same as before, but it can be worked on.
Couples go through good and bad stages all the time. Anger and all those horrible negative emotions will always mask the love that you feel for your partner in those moments of relationship issues. Think about it for a second, if you are in the throes of one almighty argument, you do not exactly love your partner but when all is calm and you’re feeling the nicer energies, the love can be felt once more.
I also truly believe that as we age, we do change somewhat. We become mature. We become wiser. Sometimes the changes are vast. We then have to learn to get to know our partner once more. What we need and want at 25 will be hugely different to 45. If we want our love to stay, we have to grow as a couple with it.
Love can be lost easily, but it can also be found. The strength of any relationship is not how it is in the good times, but how you pull together through the bad times. That is where the strength lies. If you feel you are losing your love, take a moment and remember the reason you are with them in the first place. Those reasons remain and from there you can rebuild. It is so easy to end a relationship but it is far harder to stay and make it work. I must stress that I totally exclude relationships where abuse is present. That is a totally different arena and you shouldn’t go back.
But the bottom line is, you stay in your relationships because you want to and if it is worth fighting for, then fight for it. If you feel you cannot get anything back, then before you rush to go your different ways, give yourself time to adjust to the decision that you are going. Think of this time as your buffer zone. When you are not trying to pretend you are happy in a relationship, you can take yourself out of it and see the other person as they are. However, do not be that person who ‘sits in silent sorrow’, never learning. Be that person who can reinvent their relationship, coming from a place of integrity and reason.