Guest Speaker

Finding a Light in the Darkness of Bereavement

Finding a Light in the Darkness of Bereavement


It’s devastating to lose someone, whether they are gone before their time or not.  It’s a time of numbness where you’re left feeling empty and in a state of utter sadness.  You wonder how you will ever carry on as normal again.  This is all completely natural and normal.  Grief is a process, not a quick fix.

The 5 stages of grief:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining (“If only” statements)
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

These 5 stages don’t necessarily happen in the order listed above, but they are the emotions that are typically felt throughout the process.

When loved ones pass over, they need to adjust to their new state of being.  They understand you have to grieve, but they don’t want any toll taken on you.  One of the ways that newly passed spirits can let you know that they are okay is to send signals in any which way they can.  These signals can be anything; anything that’s personal to you or stands out to you in some way.

Sometimes it can be in the form of a white feather, floating or landing right before your eyes.  Maybe it’s a robin, or a butterfly appearing in front of you.  Or perhaps it’s a song that comes on the radio at a random time that brings happy memories back of the person.  The signs can be absolutely anything.  If you notice them, know that they are for you.  Say a little thank you of acknowledgement and remember that your loved one is doing all they can to let you know that they are okay and that they love you.

If you don’t notice any signs, that doesn’t mean that your loved one isn’t trying to communicate.  It could be a combination of things.  It could be that they are trying to communicate in other ways.  It could be a dream visitation, or a feeling you get that they are with you every now and then.  You might get a little memory or anecdote pop into your head about the person out of nowhere.  That’s them communicating with you alright!

Spirit will communicate and send messages/signals in all sorts of ways- some original and some completely out of the box.  Sometimes you can be so caught up in the heaviness of grief that you simply don’t see/hear the signals or messages.  Things will become clearer when the heaviness lifts.

Here are some ways to get through the tough times:

Talk it out- keep talking and sharing the emotions you are feeling with trusted friends/family members or with a counsellor or bereavement charity.  Talking is such a massive healer for the mind, body and soul.

Self-care- looking after yourself is crucial.  Ensure you are taking care of yourself properly and are being kind to yourself, mind and body, to help you heal inside and out.  Nourish your body with healthy foods and don’t forget to drink lots of water to keep hydrated.  Sometimes in times of grief little things like eating a healthy meal can be forgotten or put off, or unhealthy options start to become a go to.

Distraction- creating a different focus for your mind is such a great method of putting yourself into a different head-space, so keeping busy will certainly help, even if you feel like you don’t want to move off of the sofa.  Things like cooking meals for yourself from scratch or joining a walking club or signing up for a course on line, for example (anything you like) are the types of distractions that you could add into your life to give you a different focus.

Connecting with Mother Earth- getting closer to nature can be a big healer, whether you’re a fast paced city dweller or you live the country life.  Doing a bit of gardening, taking on an allotment plot or simply going for a walk in the forest or visiting a nearby beach can home you back into nature and give you some powerful grounding and healing on a very spiritual level. 

Time is a healer- it’s true.  Time does heal.  With time will come acceptance.  With acceptance you will be able to start seeing with more clarity and start to get into a more comfortable space.  Always remember that no matter how painful the situation is for you, your future self will be okay and will be healed.  Your future self will thank you for giving yourself kindness, patience and self-care through such a difficult time.  Things do get better.  Imagine your future self telling you those exact words, with a kind and loving smile.

Blessed be,

Chiara x - 500039

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