Work On What Has Been Spoiled
Continuing on my series of lessons based on cards drawn from Ma Padma Deva's the “Tao Oracle” , I have drawn the card “Work on What Has Been Spoiled”, which means we're going to have to get our metaphorical hands dirty. We’re going clean out that place we all try to avoid looking at: inside ourselves.
When we are in difficult circumstances whether it be hassles at work, troubles with a romantic partner, squabbles with friends or family members, the first thing we need to consider is: "Is this my own fault?"
Sometimes (maybe a bit more often than we would like to admit) it is. Perhaps we have ideas about how the people around us should be doing things and we find it distressing. We might simply need to ask ourselves if everything is getting done and if everyone is getting along without our input. If the answer to both questions is yes, we might just need to learn to relax and accept that some people just have different working styles.
If the answer is no, we need to ask another question. What part did I play in helping to create this mess? Did I perhaps put too much pressure on someone, causing them undue stress? Are my expectations too high? Or did I let someone know that I didn't expect much from them and, sure enough, they lived down to my expectations? Have I been unduly harsh with someone when a gentle request would have sufficed? Did I fail to express appreciation or gratitude? Even if the situation isn't mostly your fault, the way you respond to the things you can't control can contribute to a toxic environment. Responding in a calm, measured way rather than reacting out of emotion can do a lot to help defuse a potentially explosive situation.
Now that we've completed the self-check, we can look at how others are contributing to the undesirable state of affairs and decide how we are going to respond. We need to do this when you are calm and quiet. Our response may be as simple as setting healthy boundaries and enforcing them, or as drastic as ending a toxic relationship. It could mean changing jobs or it could mean deciding to go with the flow and adopting more of a live and let live attitude toward people we think are a bit strange if their behaviour isn't hurting anyone.
Whether we are creating the issue or responding to someone else’s bad behaviour, we need to look inward to find that still place before we respond. We can only create peace in our outer circumstances if we are coming from a place of peace. Breathe and find that still place at the center of your swirling emotions, detached from your own ego. This will lead you to the response that will serve the highest good of all parties concerned.
So, before you rush into things, perhaps ponder the lessons from the “Work On What Has Been Spoiled” card before.
Thanks for reading,
Diti Kaal 600766