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Who Is To Blame When A Relationship Ends?

When we are in a relationship, we can stay in that relationship for many reasons, whether it be love, fear (of the unknown, rejection, moving on, security, children, etc.) we usually have feelings for the other person in the relationship and normally wish to remain in it.

However, when a relationship ends, some end acrimoniously, some with mutual consent, some feeling constant guilt and or remorse for what has happened and carry this burden themselves, which can be for years, for a lifetime and into other relationships.  This could also be a tool whereby one comes to measure another potential partner by.
Relationships end for many reasons, sometimes when we least expect it and other people can be involved in that break-up of the relationship such as affairs outside of the relationship which were not mutually consenting; financial reasons; irreconcilable breakdown to name just a few.  

We can often define well, I am the innocent party, you are the guilty party as you did a particular deed or someone was at fault or blame, which may or may not be the case.  Relationships break down for various reasons but overall without endings there would be no beginnings.

Things cannot be the same all the time in our lives and things move on, people and situations can outgrow each other, these can change over time or quite dramatically.  Some people move on and are different people, in the same relationship but drift apart but forget to inform or discuss with their partners.  
BLAME is a BIG WORD and action; when ending a relationship often blame can be projected onto a particular party, I left or ended it BECAUSE …………YOU didn’t do this or that, you put on a few pounds/stones, you didn’t look after yourself, we were more like friends……. Anyone ever heard this before.  HOLD ON THERE………… projection off!!!!  If someone wants to end a relationship, they take responsibility for ending it and accountability for their own actions.  Do not carry the blame or burden others have tried to put upon you.

I have received numerous calls over time, asking what the other party did wrong, hence why writing this post……it is not about doing anything wrong………it is about life moving on and us as individuals moving with it.  Yes, it is painful, hurtful and rejection is never nice especially when we are still in love, or have feelings, with a particular person and we want them back in our lives.  However, we all have free will, we cannot compel someone to come back into our life, if it is meant to happen it will, no matter how many days, months or years it takes.

Sometimes people mention they want their ex partner back in a specific time, such as now and anything above a few months is too long to wait.  How long is too long?……….  I believe we are meant to move on with our lives, sometimes heal the hurt, the anger, the frustration, the grief, maybe get in touch with whom we really are, experience new things no matter what they are, could be new relationships although obviously that may be the last thing on our minds.  Our lives continue, I believe we have to look to ourselves and the context of our relationships. 
I am aware of someone whom was deeply in love with someone, their relationship ended of which they had a child together, they both married other partners, had hardly any contact circa 3 times total in 23 years; they didn’t have contact information of each other; then after 23 years they got back into a relationship together, engaged and then married, after contact being established via their off spring.  They lived opposite ends of the country, when both had not long been divorced when they met again 23 years later. 
I believe if diving timing hadn’t been there the situation would not have occurred as then both had just gone through divorces, both single and free to pursue a relationship; fate in that 23 years later they come together; destiny – was this meant to be after all this time? I leave this to your conclusion. 
I am an avid believer in fate and destiny and if things are meant to happen they will despite the length of time; it is not necessarily in your time, I feel the following play a their roles:-                                                                                                      
•Diving Timing
•Fate, if things are meant to be they will be          
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relationship fate

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