Guest Speaker

When Love Goes Wrong

Getting closure can feel almost impossible when a breakup happens and there is no way to talk to your partner. They have gone and left you feeling totally abandoned. Here are a few ways to get some closure that can be really helpful....
1. Let yourself grieve. After all you have strong feelings for someone and they are gone. It can be like a death and we all need to grieve. I say talk to friends and even professionals until you feel stronger. Talk and talk until you are finished talking and grieving. 
2. Take a good look at what is blocking you from getting over this person. Really look at what your expectations where around the relationship. This can really help you to see that you had expectations of someone else and they did not measure up. Often, this can help you see what you need in a relationship in order for it to work for YOU.
3. Make an amends if you have to. Yup, make that call or type that e-mail and say you are sorry. This can really help you let go and let yourself off the hook.
4. Write a goodbye letter and never mail it. This can really help the grieving process. You can read this letter to friends and talk about it or to a professional and they can help you hear what you wrote. Best to never mail it because you are doing this for you not for anyone else.
5. This may sound a little funny but it's time to get creative. Some of the best stories, songs and novels are written after heartbreak. Some people just need to create something new. I had a friend who painted her pain on huge boards and ended up having a very successful art show. It turn she became a painter and is still doing that today. You never know what the future holds. Think of all the hit songs written after a break up.
6. Talk to a professional if you feel the need. Don't be shy. Remember that at ASK THE ANSWER we can do a reading and listen and guide you and support you to get over someone. There are many kinds of professionals out there....therapists, counsellors and empaths. They all care and are all trained listeners.
7. Take on a new passion. YES!!!! He or she is gone so now it is time for YOU to get on with YOUR own goals and why not learn something new???? Many people join a class right away to get interested in something. Join a book club or a writing club, start a cooking class, or begin a hobby that you have always wanted to do. There will be other people there to meet and chat with. It is time for new things. This can really help get you focused on something new and different and help with obsessive thoughts of your ex.
Remember to reach out and talk to other. They care and want to help. Do not isolate. That only causes more problems. 

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