Understanding how a Codependent Relationship Works
I have been privileged enough to read and help a lot of people in this situation, possibly because I myself was in a decade long co-dependent relationship. So how did I break free and find a loving, healthy marriage?
The first time I realised I was in a codependent relationship, I had already been in it for 10 years. Shortly after a year things became difficult for me. I was cut off from family and friends and my self-worth was so low. We had a lovely son so it was very difficult to leave. I moved and had the joy of meeting a wonderful lady who helped me see our relationship was toxic, so I decided to break free. It wasn’t easy but I changed my life and I have never been happier so I will share some signs of codependence.
The first thing to realise is what side of the coin you are on:
Does your happiness begin and end with your partner?
Do they consume your every waking thought?
Do you have no time for your family, friends and hobbies?
Does their happiness come before your happiness?
Do you constantly think about pleasing them?
Do you give them money to support their habits?
Do you regard your own self worth as being of little value?
Do you receive constant criticism?
If the answer is yes you are probably in a unhealthy relationship. So where do you begin?
Step 1: Wake up. Realise you count, you matter and your needs are important.
Step 2 : Take time to re-evaluate your self-worth.
Step 3: Begin to heal.
Determine what your core values are and are they being met
Spend time with loved ones, friends and family. Start up new hobbies and claw back the independence you lost along the way. Take long walks with a friend, giving you space to re-evaluate. Remember you’re in charge of you and what’s best for you and your physical and mental health.
So it’s time to set boundaries with your partner. Start saying no to demands. It’s uncomfortable to do at first, but I promise it feels so good. Learn to love yourself again. Each time you put yourself first it gets easier. Spend time changing your negative voice into a positive one. Don’t be frightened to ask for help.
Remember to love yourself again.
If you would like more information please call me.
Love and light