PART TWO OF RELATIONSHIP MYTHS
MYTH #6: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP LETS YOU VENT ALL YOUR FEELINGS Getting things off your chest might feel good, but when you blurt something out in the heat of the moment, you risk damaging your relationship permanently.
Your partner is NOT YOUR PERSONAL whipping boy - a term that came from Medieval times when a person of royalty could not be hit, so a child so hire to take the punishment that someone else actually deserved.
Many relationships are destroyed when one partner can't forgive something that was said during uncensored venting.
MYTH #7: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH SEX The belief that sex is not important is a dangerous and intimacy-eroding myth. Sex provides an important time-out from the pressures of our daily lives and allows us to experience a quality level of closeness, vulnerability and sharing with our partners.
Sex might not be everything but it registers higher (90 percent) on the "importance scale" if it's a source of frustration in your relationship. If your sex life is unfulfilled, it becomes a gigantic issue. On the other hand, couples that have satisfying sex lives rate sex at only 10 percent on the "importance scale."
MYTH #8: A GREAT RELATIONSHIP CANNOT SURVIVE A FLAWED PARTNER Remember Nobody's perfect and that includes yourself. As long as your partner's quirks are non-abusive and non-destructive, perhaps you could consider learning to live with them.
Be careful to distinguish the difference between a partner with quirks and one with a serious problem. Serious problems that are destructive and abusive include substance abuse and mental/physical abuse. Unlike idiosyncrasies, these are not behaviors you should learn to live with.
MYTH #9: THERE IS A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY TO MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP GREAT There is no definitive "right way" to be a good spouse, good parent, or to handle any relationship challenge that life throws you.
Remember not to be rigid about the way in which you accept your partner's expressions of love. There is no "right way" for someone to love you. The fact that your partner expresses feelings differently doesn't make those feelings less genuine or of less value.
MYTH #10: YOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN BECOME GREAT ONLY WHEN YOU STRAIGHTEN YOUR PARTNER OUT
Excuse me - please remember that a relationship is a sum of two people and don't fall into the trap of if you could change your partner, your relationship would be better.
If your relationship is distressed, the most important person for you to change might be yourself. Once you identify the payoffs you are subconsciously seeking with destructive behavior, you can choose to remove them from your life.