Pet Grief: Losing A Pet and How To Get Through The Sad Times
On the 31st December 2020 I made one of the most heart breaking decisions of my life and put my beloved cat Gucci to sleep. We spent almost 15 years together; I had her from a 7 week old kitten. I loved her more than anything and she loved me. In fact, it was more than love; we were obsessed with each other. It was true love and anyone who knew us said the same. They’d never seen a cat that loved her owner so much and vice versa. She gave lovely cuddles and was so affectionate. She was with me through the good times and the sad times. She followed me around everywhere in the house, if I was out in the garden sunbathing or working, I had to get a seat for her too as she wanted to sit with me. We even meditated together! She loved all things spiritual and as soon as I got a new pack of cards, she was on them with her little paws in the box, getting a vibration off them and putting her good, loving energy in them too. Some people, and I am sad to say some friends of mine, have said it’s time I got over it, life goes on or that she was only an animal. To those people I say I’m sorry, but she wasn’t just an animal, she was my everything. I knew it’d be hard losing her, but I didn’t realize quite how bad it’d feel. Some days I feel like I can’t go on without her, I feel like I have no purpose anymore. To get me through, I’ve done a few things which I have listed below:
- Make up a memory box of your pet’s favourite toys or get book of photos to look at. You might feel that it would hurt too much when you first look, but one day you can look back and they make you smile.
- I got a psychic medium to talk to Gucci for me. It may seem a bit silly and extravagant of me paying for that when I can do it myself, but it really helped, she was brilliant and definitely connected with my beautiful Gucci.
- Volunteer for a pet charity or grief counseling service. I did a course in grief counseling a couple of years ago, but this isn’t always necessary
- Write down happy memories about your pet. Before this blog, I had never really done much writing, but one of the things Gucci said to the psychic who connected with her was that I should start writing, so here goes, first blog!
Some kind people will say that time is a great healer and although when I was first told that I thought “that’s not helping me at all”, it is true. Take one day at a time, be kind to yourself and think of the good times. Look at photos, have a cry and get the tears out.
I’ve always said I’d never replace Gucci as she was a one off, but I’ve decided to look after other people’s cats when they are busy or on holiday and I’ve considered fostering cats from a rescue organization to help them out. I think it would help me too. I must admit, my online tarot job has also helped me as I focus only on my clients and my tarot and it stops me thinking about my heart ache for the time I am working.
When I say be kind to yourself during this time it can be even the basic things. Make sure you eat well, drink plenty of water and get enough rest. Your pet in heaven wants you to be happy and healthy. They are now at peace, pain free and will be scampering by your side whether you are aware of them or not. Also, Gucci told me, no matter how guilty or sad you feel at making the decision to put your pet to sleep, it was the last act of love I did for her, as she is now pain free. In an ideal world Gucci would have slipped away in her sleep, but unfortunately this rarely happens and as pet owners we must make the heart breaking decision and walk with them one last time to the rainbow bridge.
You may think this to yourself “This sadness is going on too long, I should be feeling better by now” but everyone responds differently to grief and there is no set time period to feeling better. A comforting quote my reiki master told me when my parents died was that it is much easier in the afterlife than it is here on earth. This gave me comfort, thinking my parents were having an easier time than me, but I’m afraid when it came to Gucci, I had a hard time handling her being somewhere on her own without me. But thanks to the communication we had, she is doing fine and I know she is by my side whenever I think of her or say her name.
I hope this helps you know that you are not alone and that there is light at the end of the dark, sad tunnel you feel you are in. I am still having good and bad day. It’s been just over a month, so quite early days. My life will never be the same, but I do cherish the time we had together and she taught me how to love, which is one of the best lessons you can ever hope to learn in this lifetime. Life has certainly been better for knowing her, but I will always love her and miss her. Much love to all pet owners and everyone else reading this, from Penny (& Gucci in spirit)
Penny D – 600973