Guest Speaker

Missing Loved Ones At Christmas

I don't know if I could or would want to pass a Christmas or New Year without thinking about my loved ones in Sprit - even if it still hurts a bit after all these years.   Now years down the road have lost family, friends and pets and know I will never get used to a close one dying.  No one's pain is the same, all unique with different things that will trigger a memory.  It could be a Christmas Card for a husband, wife, partner, child, sister, or brother you see in a shop, that causes a jolt and a reminder they are no longer with us, or could be a song that whenever sung, will be like a haunting chant that lingers, leaving you feeling more alone cause that song will always remind you of them when they are no longer here.

Going through Christmas and New Year is not easy, but you can get through it.  Spirit wants you to know that they love you, that they are with you (not psychically but in spirit) and they want you to enjoy life and be happy.  Those that have passed over (R.I.P.) don't hold pain, however we mere mortals do - but we can work away from carrying the pain to accepting their passing and trying to learn to live our lives without them physically (to me it is like losing a leg and having to learn to walk again).  One step at a time, with Christmas it is a time that will pass as we walk towards the New Year, though certain parts of the path of time hurt like hell - know the pain won't always be so bad. Yes we all get sick to death of hearing time is a healer, however I believe that in time we adjust to life without them psychically, it just takes time.

There are various ways to help yourself, cry your eyes out - sometimes just got to be done, or go the graveyard, light a candle, go for a walk, talk to a friend, talk about them - search and find the way that suits you.  Christmas day, do what feels right for you - not what you think you should do.  If you do not wish to have a Christmas dinner then don’t or if you wish to do things in a different style do, if you wish to add a prayer or theme in remembrance of a loved one do so.  If you need to work to avoid the pain - you can always volunteer.  Look after yourself, please don't over indulge in food or alcohol as it will only cover the pain for a while - it will not take it away.  Be nice to yourself and if you can pamper yourself - even if to a massage, some healing - whatever works for you before Christmas - please do.

Remember that people that have not lost anyone major in their lives do not understand how traumatic it is - so help yourself please.  If you struggle along the way, then change plans - don't feel guilty - there is no road map. Try if not too hurtful to remember the good Christmas and thank your loved ones in Spirit for being on earth while they were for you.  You can always talk to your loved ones in Spirit they will hear - in my deepest depths of despair over the years, I have found Spirit are the ones that listen the most and have helped me, probably why now I prefer to communicate as a medium with the dead rather than those alive.  If nothing else is working and you are still struggling please get professional help.  You can get through this and they want you to.  I am a great believer that bereavement is one of the hardest lessons in life and it is a lesson.  There are so many steps in bereavement, like, getting over the shock, getting over the first Christmas and then the rest, accepting their death and they not coming back through the door, the guilt, to stop being afraid to let them go as it won't mean you are forgetting them, forgiving and finally to letting the pain go and instead travelling through life knowing they are at your side in Spirit and they always will be. Your loved ones in Spirit do not want to see you in pain - please do as much as possible to help yourself - in doing this you will make them happier on the other side.

Those whom we have loved never really leave us.  They live on forever in our hearts and cast their radiant light into our every shadow. 

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