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Anya P
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Love and In Love - What's the Difference? (Part 1)

6th May 2025

Love — The Foundation

Love, in its broadest sense, is one of the most expansive and beautiful feelings we humans get to experience. It’s about care, connection, affection, and a deep concernfor someone’s wellbeing. You love your friends when you cheer them on through hard times, listen without judgment, or just sit beside them in quiet companionship. You love a sibling or an old friend when you forgive their faults and stand by them year after year.

We also love strangers sometimes — through acts of kindness, generosity, or solidarity. Think of how people help after disasters, or how a simple smile can liftsomeone’s day. That too, is love in its pure form.

In Love — The Spark

Being in love usually refers to a more intense, often more exclusive, form of love. It’s the kind that pulls you toward someone with a longing not just to be near, but tomerge lives in some way — emotionally, mentally, sometimes physically.

It’s often mixed with attraction, but it’s not purely about physical desire. That giddy,fluttery feeling of being “in love” often involves wanting to know everything about the person, to share your world, and to feel seen in return. It can involve romance, but it doesn’t have to.

Can You Be “In Love” With a Friend?

This is such a beautiful and often confusing place for many people. The short answer is yes — you can experience feelings that resemble being “in love” with a friend,without it needing to lead to romance or physical intimacy.

Some friendships go beyond affection into a kind of soulful attachment. You might think of that friend constantly, feel excitement at their messages, or feel deeply seen and understood by them. You might miss them terribly when they’re away or even feeljealousy when they’re close to others.

These are all markers of attachment and emotional intensity that we often associate with being in love — but whether it’s romantic or platonic depends on the peopleinvolved and the context of the relationship.

Love Across Relationships

Between partners, love ideally grows from romantic attraction into something deeper — companionship, shared goals, and a sense of “home” in each other.

With ex-partners, love may transform. You may still care deeply for them, want the best for them, but the romantic or passionate elements fade. That doesn’t make the love any less valid; it simply changes shape.

With strangers, as mentioned, love can show up as compassion or kindness — brief, beautiful moments where we recognize the shared humanity in each other.

Beyond Physicality

It’s important to remember that love — whether between friends, partners, or even strangers — does not require physical activity to be real or meaningful. Emotionalintimacy, trust, vulnerability, laughter, tears — these are often the heartbeats of love.

Physical affection can be a lovely expression of love, but it’s not the sole marker of it. Many deep, fulfilling relationships exist without it, and many shallow ones containplenty of it. What matters is the connection, respect, and emotional resonance between people.

Final Thoughts

Love, in all its forms, is the thread that holds our lives together. Whether you’re “in love” or simply loving, you are participating in one of life’s most profound experiences. And while we naturally love our children unconditionally, the love between adults — friends, partners, exes, even strangers — teaches us just as much about vulnerability, joy, and the beauty of connection.

So if you find yourself wondering whether what you feel for someone is “love” or “in love,” perhaps the better question is: How does this connection enrich my heart?

In the end, love is always a gift — no matter the shape it takes.

Look out for parts:

  1. When Isn’t It Love — Or When Has Love Ended?
  2. How to Heal When Love Ends

Love Anya P xx

 

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