Everyone loves romance and women are especially prone to falling in love with someone they’ve never met. Let’s blame romance novels and romantic comedies for our innate ability to empathize with the inanimate.
I once came across a non-Caucasian, young man laden with M&B novellas. Intrigued, I asked whether he belonged to a book club.
“No,” he admitted, “I want to learn about the women.”
More recently a foreign-language, English student shared with me how he prefers to watch female oriented, American sitcoms, rom-coms and mini-series, to improve his English and learn how the “Western woman’s mind works.”
These distantly related, seemingly innocent, incidences and the amount of online information about dating scams leads me to raise the topic of forming relationships and how, as a Tarot reader, I can guide my clients to side-step getting caught up in scams.
If you suspect that you’re the target of a con-artist try one or more of the following and listen to your intuition for the answer;
- Ask - if you suspect he/she is stringing you along, which you can establish if they probe too deeply into your private life too soon or have too many “problems” of their own, and whilst they sympathize with yours, theirs are just so much more urgent at this moment in time - raise the topic of con-artists and see how they react.
- Have you sent them money and then never heard from them again? This is sad but happens all the time. Forget that person (unless you can afford legal fees or have connections who can bring them to book), next time look for someone with less problems and more able to present themselves in person.
- Invite them to meet your family and friends after the 3rd date and ask to meet theirs.
- Really question the situation if they’re inaccessible, live in a foreign country or claim to work abroad.
Make sure you fall in love with a flesh and blood person, not just words from an unknown source! Most con-artists will make you laugh; they pep you up then pounce. This is not to say everyone who makes you laugh is a con-artist, but watch for the problems that follow.
Most of us are looking for “real” relationships, if after a few conversations (online, instant messaging, phone calls etc.) you cannot arrange to meet the person (in a public place) then there is every likelihood that you’ll never meet them.
How to handle this? Keep to the laughter, don’t bare your soul to a stranger, don’t talk about your problems, evade theirs and NEVER offer or send money! In short; have fun with the relationship, but never put your heart on the line until you’ve met them and they’ve met your close family and/or friends (even if it’s just your pet rock).
Of course middle aged women are the easiest target but anyone, regardless of gender and age, needs to be loved but the way to find love is, ironically, not to NEED it. Very few people who are looking for a lasting relationship are also looking for a needy person to form such a relationship with. Are you?
So how do you know if you’re needy, how can you find out whether you’re going to be a burden or an asset in a relationship?
Just to keep things real, con-artists come in many forms, regardless of gender, age, ethnic group etc. And they’re both online and off-line. Let’s look at a few signs that can tell if you’re sabotaging your chances at love by being needy.
- Do you feel lonely to the extent that you’d be prepared to get involved with almost anyone just so you don’t have to be alone?
- Have you fallen for an online person, whom you’ve never met but who makes you feel good about yourself in ways you haven’t done for a long while, in fact, they’re so good at making you feel good you’ve fallen head-over-heels in love with them - without ever having met them?
- Are you gullible, believing every word they tell you?
Now there is a level of acceptance in conversation where it really doesn’t matter what another person is saying because they are, or seem to be, knowledgeable about the topic at hand and whether they’re spinning a tale or speaking the truth isn’t going to affect you personally.
Then there are stories that are woven with such skill and craftsmanship, before you know it, you’re personally involved, your heartstrings have been pulled and you’ve been caught by a puppeteer. This person needs you to be needy!
- Do you often cry because you’re lonely or from frustration?
- Are you always the one waiting, getting frantic when they don’t call or contact you?
In the end there are countless scenarios and you’re the only one who can judge the situation objectively, but are you in the right state of mind to be objective?
If your symptoms are severe you could probably benefit from a visit to a professional counsellor or psychologist and I’d recommend this, but if you believe you can still bring things together with a little help from a friend and some practical exercises that can help you see your situation from a more objective perspective, then book a 1 hour call with me; Skylin - Reader 600315.
Your session will incorporate a 40 minute CoolRiv session, designed to ground you and raise your vibrations and a 20 minute Tarot reading to establish a better route into your future and a greater chance of finding and developing a lasting, love relationship.
Skylin (Reader: 600315)