Inner Demons

For some situations complicated is an understatement at best. But especially when I get in a tangle, with my ego going around in circles. My task is to work out what’s going on for me and why. As writers of life stories why was my soul creating this experience? Like the birth pangs of labour this is the point where my affirmations become mantras, I trust that the birthing pains will be worth the dream.
 
When the truth is there are no victims all external relationships mirror our relationships with ourselves. We evoke from others whatever matches out own radio signals. There can be no abandonment without self abandonment. No betrayal without self betrayal. No rejection without self criticism, no cruelty and indifference unless there is a lack of self compassion. No judgement from others unless there is shame and guilt. There must be an old belief system of mine, but how deep did this manifestation go? Where had I buried this belief system to painful to deal with alive?

Whenever we face challenges, old flows of consciousness often come to the surface and we have a choice, to believe that we were right about a particular belief ' I am too trusting', ' people just aren't capable of un-conditional love' 'I’m better off on my own' etc.. When in reality these realities are just manifestations of the very discordant belief systems you've decided you were right about. These discordant belief systems make us blame or rage at others, feel like a self righteous victim or perpetrator, want to fix or control or change others or the world. But either way we become trapped in dreams of the psyche, our energy collapses. Refusing to take responsibility for these energy systems reinforces our false identities defences, and puts up barriers. They close us down restrict our freedom and increase our sense of frustration and powerlessness.
 
Our defences...wow defences...what do we believe being injured emotionally gives us permission to do? To hurt others? To shut down? To stop taking responsibility? To be unwilling to live? To love? To relate? What do you give yourself the right to do when you are hurt? Our defences live in stories in which the immature identify interprets events so that they fit our negative beliefs and family patterns. Here is where the choice lies...what do you choose as YOUR TRUTH? If we choose to believe our false stories, we deepen our wounds and defences. Instead of becoming an opportunity for growth, an outer event/ re-action become another knife in the back of the belly another filter which blocks us from deep reality. Our identity stories often cast us a victims of a big bad reality, the opposite sex our family, society and friends. We are not children that have been set here to learn lessons. We are spiritual adults, co-creators, pioneers in consciousness. We choose our own experiences and the lessons (descriptions of reality) which we take from them. Whatever path you choose old belief systems or new is part of an adventure in consciousness...but be aware of choosing the familiar over the adventure...or living in unsatisfying realities instead of claiming our hearts desires. Remember the truth only hurts when you're living a lie.