The question that is asked a lot. ‘Does my partner truly love me?’ Please remember I am not a love guru … but like you all, I do have some knowledge and I hope it gives you some clarity.
I always answer that the words ‘I love you’ are pure hot air unless they are backed up with actions. Those men and women that are abusive, toxic, and nasty to their partner do not love them if they wish to hurt them with their words or actions; or ridicule and put them down in front of others. That is not love.
You know when your partner loves you because they will look you in the eye and be interested in what you are saying. They will actually listen to you and share in the conversation. They will later recall what you said and if a problem spoken of, they will try to help you resolve it. What they won’t do if they truly love you is to carry on TV channel hopping or tell you that ‘it will be alright’ in a nonchalant voice.
Some things cannot be solved; some things are just ‘it is what it is’ and, in those circumstances, they will simply hold you and support you.
You know when they love you as they will support your hopes, aspirations, and dreams. They will not ridicule you; they will help you achieve them. They will not put their own over and above yours but will put them next to theirs.
They will show their softer side; you will see their vulnerabilities and they are not afraid to expose these to you. Their ego will not get in the way. This is because they feel safe with you, and it is important that you see all of them. We all have insecurities and what we perceive as weaknesses. They will share these with you without a second thought.
They will want you to be happy and will do all they can to make you happy. This is not them putting you on a pedestal as that would be out of balance and wrong, but they will do what they can to ensure that you are happy and content. They will do little things to make your life easier or show their care.
They will give stability and wish to make you secure. They will not take you for granted all the time (I think we all do this a little bit of the time) … they will be thankful for what you do for them, and even small little gestures speak a thousand words.
They may not agree with your opinions, but they will not disrespect them or try to shout you down.
Your partner loves you when they listen; show respect; show love; show stability and consistency and you feel safe and secure with them.
A good partner will not deliberately hurt you.
Your partner will want to spend time with you; make plans for the future from those date nights to time away; home improvements etc. the list is endless, but it is part of that sharing and living a life together.
Your partner will show you affection, not just in the bedroom, but those small intimate moments of the hand in the small of the back … the hug in the hallway …
Your partner will accept your flaws after all … none of us are perfect.
Life is not about fluffy bunny rabbits and rainbows. Life can be tough; a good partner will stick by you through everything. The good and bad times; we all know we have those.
Roses and chocolates are easy to get … it is so much more meaningful when your partner gives you all of the above. They are things that cannot be purchased. I have no doubt there’s more that can be added to the list.
If you have a love like this in your life … hold onto them, value them and enjoy the relationship as they truly love you and love is eternal. Only we destroy the love another feels for us, so if you love them truly… do not destroy it. Enjoy it!!!
Hugs
Shelly x
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