Guest Speaker

Dealing with difficult events

How often do people thrive on the drama that is going on in their lives? They say they just want a quiet life, but could they handle that really? Some people lurch from one crisis to another, life is dramatic and everything seems to be against them. How much of this is of their own making though? Should we maybe stop and think about our own lives and the situations we are in? Are we repeating past mistakes and encouraging bad habits, leading to these "dramas" occurring? It may be time to take stock of what we do and don't want in our lives, clear out what we can of the dross and rubbish, and make a determined effort to make a calmer, quieter life for ourselves. No-one else can do it for us, this really is in our own hands.

 Another thing to consider here, too, is how we react to the events we have no control over.

The car breaks down. Is your reaction:

1) Why do these things always happen to me? This is so terrible.

2) I knew I should have got it into the garage when I heard that clunking noise.

3) Well, parts wear out, at least it can be fixed.

You get the idea? All valid reactions and ones we've all said over time, but how we react and take care of an issue can say a lot about us and our attitudes in general. This is something we can change, and it's amazing what a difference this can make in many aspects of our lives.

 Another useful thing to remember here is the "pre-emptive strike."

Do we coast along in life reacting to what's happening around us, or do we attempt to grab hold of the reins and have some control? Going back to a car example, if your car breaks downs it may be completely unexpected and with no warning, but another time you may have seen or heard warning signs before the event. It's up to you to either ignore these or act on them. You have the ability to put yourself in the position of being a victim or being pro-active.

It's your choice. You decide.

 This shows how the way we view a situation can be very different to other people's take on it, and it can also affect how we act and feel, and what we do next. It's a bit like whether you're a pessimist or an optimist, do you see the bad or good in a situation first, do you look for the obstacles rather than the positives?

 Changing the way we view things can have a dramatic effect on our lives. Rather than always expecting the worse case scenario and feeling that the world is out to get us, look for the good in things. Yes, the problems will still occur, but we can chose to not let them dominate our lives, and instead spend more time on the things that benefit us.

 This is a reminder to be open to everything that comes our way. By not wanting to try new things or not wanting change to happen we could miss out on new opportunities. Also, it's up to us how we deal with events that happen that we have no control over. You can moan about how terrible something is, learn from it, or see if any good can come from it.

 Finally, another aspect to consider is whether we just wait for something to happen to us? At times this is all we can do, but on other occasions we need to get up, get going and make things happen for ourselves. It can be hard at times to know which to do when, but by taking 5 minutes out of our hectic lives to stop and sit quietly to think things over will usually help us to know which is the right course of action to take. Stop, think and listen to your intuition, your inner voice, and take things from there.

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