Home for the holidays, conjures up the idea that all is wonderful, but in the real world, that is not always true.
There is the uncle that consumes too much alcohol, putting everyone on edge. The family disagreements that started many years ago, that don't matter anymore. Who really cares about past history? How do you cope with going to these events and making the best out of it? Why let one or two people with their own agenda and unpleasant behaviour ruin a good time?
The host should just un invite these people, as the host has free will, and should consider the rest of the guests. There is no excuse for this dysfunction. In the year 2017, people can speak up and if you are not willing to do this, and then have another year of bad memories in a season that is suppose to bring happiness and goodwill. As one matures, you change your way of thinking.
We cannot choose our family, but we choose our friends with care .We have only those that make up happy around us. If your family does not make you feel good, then don't go. If you have no choice, because you are with someone that just won't change, here are a few hints that may make it a little easier.
Control the alcohol consumption, and when the negative remarks come, just pretend you did not hear it by making a statement about a totally different subject. If this continues just keep making positive remarks as if you did not hear the subject matter.
The offender gets the hint that they are not the centre of attention. When all else fails, leave the room and take a great walk in the fresh air. Remember, bullies are weak and love the centre of attention, so does a narcissistic person. Holiday seasons are for happy memories and sharing the love and goodwill. There is no written rule that you must spend it with people you do not enjoy. A mature person will pick what makes them happy .They don't care what other people think. Happy holidays with peace.
Laura
