'He loves me, he loves me not:
It may be fairer to say does he love me enough?
Does he love me enough to let go of his current situation, which may not be happy, but leaving it would cause all kinds of complications and difficulties. Not everyone is prepared to risk their family and financial stability and possibly easy contact with children, for a new love. We have a romantic idea about true love and destiny, but love, however strong, doesn’t always bring a solution by magic. The love makes us want to make it happen though.
That may sound rather gloomy, but I speak to so many people, usually women, but not always, whose hearts are breaking. They truly desire to have their loved one more fully in their lives, to look at a different, shared future together. Separation and lack of communication is painful and confusing.
One of the things I feel can interfere very easily with moving a relationship forward is the ex-partner. Even if a person has ended a full relationship there are often some connections which may affect the new relationship coming in. One way of seeing things is that at an energetic level, we are connected by ‘strands’ or ‘threads’ of energy, linking us to each other. The ‘Ex’ is usually a cause for concern to a new relationship, even if it’s about fighting and arguing, because like love, anger is also a very strong energy and it also causes very strong energetic connections between people. The aggressive energy can get in the way of the beautiful loving energy. At some level, people appear to sense confusion and distraction around past or other relationships, but not be sufficiently aware to be certain what the nature of that relationship is.
If you are fighting with an Ex, then it’s important to really let them go. If you believe they are history, let them be gone into the past and avoid communications and entreaties that keep them tied into your energy. If you have decided a past relationship is over, let it go, unless there is a good reason to be in contact, like children, work or social group. It’s important to be clear where the boundaries are. Establish some ‘rules’ about where and when there is contact etc, so that everyone, including the children (if any are involved) knows how things go. Don’t get drawn into late night texting or chatting, even if it’s aggressive or intense, or this is likely to interfere with a new relationship. It may bring confusing energies into the connection to your new person. And why would you want to be talking with an Ex? Don’t let anger or frustration draw you back in. It’s usually better not to answer a text from an Ex than say ‘Leave me alone’, because all the time you join in, it looks like there’s a chance of getting back together, or they could just be messing you about, not wanting you to move on.
If you are waiting for a relationship to go to the next level of commitment, rather than always waiting for them to contact you, think about what you believe is realistic in the situation. Remember that anyone may be preoccupied with work and future financial stability, whatever other romantic ideas may be involved. Consider what kind of time is reasonable for you to remain patient. Is it another month? Six months? Longer? If the other person truly loves you, and wants to be with you, they will come to you. If they don’t, maybe they don’t love you enough or it may just be too difficult. Remember that love doesn’t always make everything work out, as if by magic. In real life, it’s usually more complicated than that, because it may involve major changes if both of your lives, as well as in the lives of others.
Send your loving thoughts to your loved one, imagine happy times spent together and send those memories, like a little video, with your thoughts and loving feelings. (Don’t actually bombard them with texts. This is likely to push them away.) You can work with the energy of love. Use those threads of connection, sending loving messages from your heart, reminding them ‘How wonderful it is to be together, how it would be so good to meet again very soon …. Send them loving thoughts that say: We have spent so much lovely time together; I would love to spend more of that time with you. I look forward to being with you soon, but I feel I have been waiting so long …. If you cannot respond to me by the end of August (for example) then I will have to accept that you don’t love me enough. I cannot take this heartache forever and I will have to let you go’. Only send these kinds of energetic messages if you are sure of timing. If you’re not ready to let go, give it all longer. Listen to your heart when you are not too distressed. It will tell you how long to give it.
Doing this kind of thing helps you take back some control of the situation and makes you feel less helpless. It also has its effects. Human beings function at a subtle level which most of us do not fully understand. It’s the kind of things that animals instinctively know, but we have lost touch with over time.
You can ask the angels, your Guardian Angel and the other person’s, or whatever spiritual being you believe in, to shower the situation with love, to bring healing and a resolution, a way forward. You can ask for help even if you don’t believe in angels. You may be surprised at what follows.
Take care of your heart and your feelings, cherish your dreams, and enjoy your dreams because dreams can and do come true. But it can get complicated with relationships, so try to ‘Keep it in the Real World’ to avoid extra heartbreak. Usually, it’s a question of time and patience and of course, both sides and the relationship being focussed on the same outcome. It’s boring to wait! Just sometimes, people come together in a flash because Love moves instantly, but the three dimensional, complicated and heavy, material world usually takes a lot longer to catch up!
Blessings x Ella