“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.”… Voltaire.
Ever felt that you were surplus to requirements?
Ever felt that you were constantly taken for granted?
Ever felt that you maintain a relationship? Be it with a lover, family or friend … that you are the one always initiating contact and making all the effort?
Ever felt that others constantly take and do not give and you are the one always giving and never receiving?
Ever felt that you are not welcome and are almost intruding on the others’ time and energy?
If these resonate with you on a regular basis then sorry to say, yes you are being undervalued and underappreciated.
I do not mean to sound negative, but the above makes life exhausting for those that give and do not take.
Let me make it quite clear.
It is NOT OKAY to constantly take and not give back.
It is NOT OKAY to take someone for granted.
It is NOT OKAY to make someone feel bad about themselves because you are totally selfish to others.
I use big shouty letters to make it clear to those that are under valued and also to those that under value others.
Life is about balance; this is all about giving and taking, not just one or the other. In life we are either the teachers or the pupils in situations. After all we are here to learn life lessons, you just have to see what you can teach others or learn from situations.
If someone is undervaluing you, you must question what they bring to your life; question their value to you. That is not being selfish, it is being realistic.
You must take control of the situation and this can take many forms, from you walking away from the other party at the extreme end of the control to trying to discuss things with the other party on how they make you feel. Trouble is if they lack emotional intelligence they won’t see any wrong in their selfishness. Or you can simply control the contact you have with them, for instance in some families … we all have them who take us for granted … we can not be at their beck and call but do what is required etc in our own time.
In saying all of this, you must still continue to show your own appreciation of things. Afterall you should not lower your standards to the same as those that are not at the same level. Lead by example.
It would be so easy to take offence at others behaviour when they take us for granted, but it takes a stronger person to not take offence and understand that their behaviour is a reflection of them. Take the moral high ground and do not lower your own standards. One day others will realise how good you were to them. It may be too late for your relationship with them, but it will ensure that they move forward in a much better space and not take others for granted.
I will add that you must always do the right thing. As long as you can look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and know that you came from a good place, then you will only have good karma coming your way.
Hugs
Shelly x
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