Guest Speaker

Are You A Wendy?

Who is Wendy?  A Wendy is the partner to Peter Pan.  This is a Co-dependent relationship, because without Wendy there is no Peter Pan.  Peter Pan is the man who behaves likes a little boy when it comes to emotional development in relationships.  There is likely to be very little of emotional warmth and plenty of irresponsibility and temper tantrums.  Wendy acts likes Peter's mother rather than his lover.  One of the six biggest mistakes we women make with the men we loved according to Barbara de Angelis - author of the book "Secrets About Men That Every Women Should Know" 

1) Your mate has been particularly cruel; leaving you with the realization that he is regularly nasty to you.  Do you say to yourself, "I only hope that I can hang on until he changes"?

2) There is talk of his leaving and you say, "There is not way I can make it without him".

3) You consider divorce or breaking off the relationship and think, "If I leave him, it will be too much for him to handle."

4) After reviewing his lack of consideration, his refusal to share feelings with you and his cold sexual demands, you say, "But, oh, he loves me so much."

5) Your mate throws a temper tantrums at you.  Example for perhaps a messy house he never helps clean, or food that he doesn't like, and you take the blame for his behaviour but saying, "I know it's my fault".

6) Your mate has plenty of money to buy drinks for his buddies but rebels when you want to spend money on yourself.  You say, "I'm wrong for not staying within my strict budget."

7) When someone asks you what you like best about your husband, your first response is "Oh he is a great provider; he works fourteen hours a day."

8) You are victimized by your mate's insensitivity and you say, "If I tried to be more like him this wouldn't hurt so much."

How many of these statements have been in your mind and/or come out of your mouth?  Using the old technique "on a scale of one to ten.." you assign yourself your own Wendy score.  Suffice it to say that as you move upward from a score of three to four toward a seven or eight, the more you are trapped in Never Never Land with your mate.  The lower your score, the more likely that you will be able to make the conversation to a Tinker and lure your mate away from the legion of lost boys.  Tinker Bell, is what you can become - the loving sexual partner who is assertive about her needs without denying her partners his needs also.  Nobody suffers and everybody gains in this type of relationship.

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