Dealing with feelings of grief
Grief can often be invoked by a multitude of things such as seasonal holidays, songs, anniversaries, places, past arguments, any and everything. Such memories can be excruciatingly unbearable. An intrusive memory of a deceased loved one’s last moments in physical life or perhaps their illness is distressing. Remind yourself that those moments are insignificant to your deceased loved one now in the afterlife; they vaguely remember it themselves, if at all. Deceased accident victims too felt nothing when the accident occurred; they merely stepped out of their bodies and on to pastures new. When you find yourself fighting back the tears, experiencing the shock or when the memory of a death intrudes, immediately switch images of how your loved one is right now this moment in the afterlife — happy, young, whole, vibrant and watching over you as your guardian angel, until you meet again.
Overwhelming feelings of grief and loss is the depth of your love for them too, and an unexpected surge of grief can sometimes be a sign when your deceased loved one is standing right by you! If you experience a sudden wave of grief just stop a moment, take a deep breath in, breathe out and feel the emotions passing through you. Cry if you feel the need, it’s good to release those tears. Look inwardly for any images, symbols or messages, and when you discover something, start communicating with your deceased loved one. They will hear you so discharge your grief to them or whatever else you are feeling. Speak to them with your heartfelt, deepest emotion even if it feels like anger, regret or guilt. You may be surprised at how a grief wave can be an opportunity to turn it into a two-way communication with your deceased beloved, bringing you not just instant relief but reunion with them, and a feeling of euphoria and healing, in time. Remember your connection with them continues on into the afterlife, it is eternal. Cherish your love for them and keep those lovely memories of them alive in your heart.
Spotting the signs of grief – being mindful
Whether the heart breaking loss of a deceased loved one or the break-up of a relationship, grief is a fundamental part of the healing process, although it does not feel like it at the time, everyone’s journey is individual, however, there are common traits that come and go like waves when you least expect it.
Spotting the signs of grief:
Unexpected or unpredictable crying.
Lack of appetite or over-eating.
Excessive drinking of alcohol.
Staying in bed or not getting dressed when you would normally do so.
A change in personality – becoming very withdrawn, quiet and introverted, or over-compensating to cover up the grief to others, to prove you are okay by becoming an extrovert.
An inability to remember things, concentrate or complete simple tasks.
Sudden outbursts of anger.
Feelings of guilt, regret or denial that the loss has occurred.
Talking excessively about the deceased loved one or about how they died, being constantly preoccupied by them, or going over and over details.
An empty feeling in the stomach or general aches and pains.
Disinterest in life in general.
The list can be extensive but apart from these common signs during the grieving process, we can sometimes experience subtle physical side effects for example lack of energy, backache or even hair loss. Children too can suffer and may complain of ailments like tummy pain or may wet the bed. Be aware of subtle signs, not only for yourself, but for the other special people in your lives, be it yourself, your children, a relative, friend or neighbour.
Should you or anyone experience some or all of these signs then perhaps you or they are still grieving. Try to ensure the right help and suitable support is obtained. Seek help from professionals and talk about the loss and share feelings and frustrations. We are only human so be easy on yourself and others around you, especially children, it is not easy but all part of the grief journey and healing process. Take tiny steps and take each day at a time.
Love & light xxx