Spotting a Cheat (Part 1) Plus a discount voucher
Cheats can come in many forms, male or female, friends, family or strangers. This 2 part guide will explore initially how to prevent getting to know one and the second part will discuss how to expose one that has already slipped into the net! For ease of reading only, I will refer to the cheat as ‘he’ but this does not mean I am circling one gender out from another!
In addition to the standard safety, alarm bell warning, plus tips and tricks to ‘catch them out’, I will be also discussing how to identify the rascals by use of Tarot Cards!
Making new friends online!
We all probably know someone who has dallied with online dating it in this digital age, I could tell a few hair raising stories from other people’s experiences! There is one golden rule to remember at all times :-
“If they sound too good to be true, you can almost guarantee that they are not the real deal”
First of all a few common sense rules:
Don’t be hasty in giving out personal information, if it’s meant to be it will happen anyway. Avoid giving out your social network details, i.e. Face book and certainly do not add them until your 100% sure and chatted for a good while. If you switch to email contact, don’t give out your work email address, use a hotmail or set a new on up just for online socializing... Never give out your home address, even if he does promise the bouquet of a lifetime. Until you know this person, failing to note the above could cause you a lot of trouble if they turn out to be… trouble!
Draw up a checklist so you can decide methodically if the person you are chatting to is genuine or not. Of course nothing is guaranteed at this stage, but you can check off the warning signs! So what are they?
Is it quite short, so there is not too much detail for them to remember or trip up on?
Or could the details be over the top, i.e. 6ft, blonde bronzed, own a riding school, a mansion and spend s6 months of the year in the Bahamas.
Do they mention a ‘military cover’ I.e. the reason why I can’t give too much detail out is I have worked undercover! (more about this tactic later, it is very common!)
Liars tend to use “negation” which means they will say things like ‘not sad’ instead of happy or “not boring” instead of exciting.
Watch out the frequency or lack of it on the use of ‘I ‘, i.e. I enjoy going for walks and I really like eating out. A liar tends to NOT use the word ‘I’ frequently.
Picture OFC!! Old Pic – Fraudster – Concealment
Check out if it is a really old pic by anything that stands out in the background i.e. 70’s poster on the wall, someone wearing Birmingham Bags in the background, old fashioned furnishings, look for anything tht could be a giveaway it wasn’t taken in the last year or so
Next, is it not their picture at all? Does it look like a stock ad picture, or one nabbed off the internet? There is a handy little trick you can try and has caught a lot of people out! Save their pic to your computer then visit this highly useful page, it’s free! http://www.google.com/imghp . Click on the camera icon and upload the photo from your computer. It can reveal if any other images on the internet match. One lady discovered her new love interest was a stock picture of a man promoting erectile dysfunction ! Oops
Getting to know you!
If the profile and the pic don’t raise any concerns, then it’s time to find out more!
Watch out for those who say from the start, I’m just rushing out now, can you call me later here is my number. Would you really give someone your number that you knew nothing about? So first sign is there that they aren’t interested in putting the time in to find out more about you.
Beware the boaster of his luxury lifestyle, yachts and mansion with grounds. A person who really had such assets would not be wanting a gold digger and would more likely to keep his ‘jewels’ low key till further down the line.
Another danger sign and back to the military moment. The most common profile of a scammer is to use the undercover agent style story. This means they can be vague about their past and present and have a keenness to look important. Believe me, nobody whatsoever who works in any kind of undercover field reveals that fact, so there is your number one giveaway sign and don’t fall for it.
Another factor can take some weeks down the line of online chat to come out and this is health problems and hard luck stories i.e. relatives who have suddenly died, an illness that has just cropped up etc. This is a well known ‘feel sorry for me’ and attention tactic. Be on your guard!
Then of course there are the money rats in addition to the attention seeking crew! “I really would love to come and see you, but I’m waiting for money to come through” or my accountant has run off with all my money and I need funds to take him to court. You would be amazed how creative these stories can get. Don’t even go there!
Check them out!
Even if they seem the nicest person in the world, do all you can to check them out before meeting personally or inviting to meet your family. In addition to the photo image matcher as mentioned above, check out social media channels. Have they got a Face book page or Twitter account in the name they have you? Do they live in the area they say they do or if they have said they are a Director of a company(another common one) ,then you can do a short free check on 192.com (you can find a clickable banner on the asktheanswer web site if you scroll down to the bottom). You will only find out the basics from this free search but just for a couple of £’s you can possible find out a lot more.
I hope some of this information has been a help to you or knowledge to pass on to friends. In the second part coming on Saturday 12th July, we will be looking in depth how the Tarot Cards can reveal signs of a cheat around you. Also what other practical signs to look out for a boyfriend/husband/girlfriend/wife/ colleague/friend is suspected of having a hidden agenda!